Chapter 2

Chapter Two

10:52 Friday Morning

Johnny sat in his underwear in a hangover induced trance in front of the TV, quietly working on his second bowl of cereal, washing it down with healthy gulps of Gatorade. He had missed class by about an hour, but his guilt was quickly erased when he found that Waterworld was on. That had to be a good sign. Especially considering it was only about twenty minutes into it. What better way to learn about ethics than watching a movie highlighting what could happen if men kept abusing their world blindly?

The living room was in surprisingly good condition, considering its occupants. In fact, the whole house was under a constant upkeep of maintenance by the guys. They’d put in new carpet a couple months past, after the infamous red wine beer bonging incident, and the walls were constantly being re-spackled and repainted, as they had a tendency to come under siege whenever the Jack Daniels was broken out…which was often. The couches and recliner were relatively new, and kept clean, and the walls were adorned with an assortment of bar signs and framed pictures that they’d amassed throughout their travels and adventures. It was in far better condition than their lives were.

He heard a door open upstairs, then the bathroom door close. A few minutes later, Steve stumbled halfway down the stairs, still wearing only his shorts from last night, his hair even more disheveled than usual. Passing the wall, getting to the stair railing, he climbed over it, hopping down to the floor, and immediately putting a hand to his head.

“Goddamnit, why do I always do that?” He glared up at the accused overhang which seemed to clock him every chance it got.

Johnny just shrugged. “We missed class.”

Steve walked over and sat down next to him on the couch, fishing around for an empty bowl on the table covered with magazines, empty plates and dishes, and old spit bottles/improvised ashtrays. “Yeah, well that was pretty much inevitable.” Finally finding a suitably clean one, he grabbed the box of Frosted Flakes, emptied it, then finished it off with some from the box of Lucky Charms. “We need more milk.” He stated flatly, emptying the carton into his bowl.

“We’ll get some on the way back from Religion.”

“Fuck. Religion.”

“Yeah, you’re presenting today, you know.”

“Yeah I know.” Steve said around a mouthful of cereal.

“Got anything ready?”

“I’ve been reading Holy Blood, Holy Grail, I’ll be fine.”

“Haha, one day Dr. Somers is going to catch on that we get pretty much everything for that class out of that book.”

“Still more than most of the idiots in that class read.”

“True.”

The commercial ended and Waterworld came back on. Steve’s eyes lit up and he scooped another mouthful of cereal in with gusto. Outside the front door, two voices approached, one male, their roommate will, and the other, an annoying wannabe California girl. Through the door they heard her say, “You guys really need to clean up these beer cans. It’s trashy.”

Steve groaned. “Goddamnit.”

The door opened, a bookbag hit the ground next to it, and their roommate Will, along with his girlfriend, who was incidentally Steve’s cousin, Courtney, walked in. Will gave them a look and laughed to himself. Courtney gave them a look and sneered with obvious disdain.

“Where have you guys been?” Will asked, taking off his jacket and throwing it over the couch. He was a couple years younger than them, a sophomore, and despite being a good looking guy who was growing into a lean and athletic man, still had a hard time growing much more than a light chin beard of stubble, which he either neglected to shave, or thought made him look rugged like his constantly scruffed up roommates. He and Johnny had met on the lacrosse team, and being a young defenseman like Johnny, had been taken under his wing. Everything was going great, he was picking up their lifestyle seamlessly, and Johnny had to admit, was a hell of a partier, and a hell of a guy to have on your side in a bar fight…then he met Courtney, and things had been progressively going downhill.

Not looking up from the TV, Johnny and Steve replied in unison, around mouthfuls of cereal, “Sleeping.”

Courtney looked at the table of trash and old dishes and gave a look of disgust. It was a look she seemed to wear constantly around them. It was a shame, cause if she smiled once in a while, Johnny would have admitted she was pretty good looking…despite looking more like she was Steve’s sister than his cousin. She had blonde hair which she no doubt spent way too much money in upkeep on, was fake tanned, wore makeup to class like she was going out to the bars, and if she’d ever worn a piece of clothing without Hollister Co. printed somewhere on it, Johnny hadn’t seen it yet. She looked like an extra on The Hills.

She gave Steve a look that was more suited for a mom who had just found her kid peeing in the closet, “You missed a quiz in ethics. You’re gonna fail.”

“How much was it worth?” Johnny asked.

From the kitchen, Will answered, “Only ten points.”

“I’m not worried about it.” Steve replied.

Will sat down in the recliner next to the couch, cracking open a bottle of water. “You know, you could probably deal with a few more lessons in ethics.”

Pointing at the TV with his spoon, Steve shook his head, “No, I get all the lessons on ethics I need from Costner.”

Courtney stopped at the foot of the stairs, “You mean to tell me, you think watching an old, balding, overpaid and overrated actor who hasn’t made a good movie in twenty years is what you base your life off of?”

All three of the roommates, even Will, Johnny noted, turned to her with looks of horror on their face. Steve looked infuriated. “Hasn’t made a good movie in twenty years? “

“Overrated?” Johnny demanded.

“Overpaid? He’s a freakin’ star!” Will added.

She looked at Will like he had betrayed her, “No. Don’t you even try to get in on this with them!”
Steve stood up with as much authority someone who was half naked, still half drunk, and with a mouthful of cereal could. “I’ll have you know that Kevin Costner has given us more groundbreaking, heart wrenching, epic, and hilarious movies than any other from this or any other decade! No one, and I mean no one can be so charming, funny, and at the same time deep and meaningful, and dare I say…dangerous…” He squinted his eyes at that, “As he has shown us time and time again, from Bull Durham to Open Range, and has done so with more authority…”
“You’re about to start rambling man.” Johnny warned.

Steve looked down at him, then back at Courtney, “Yeah, well I think I made my point.”
“It was a good speech.” Johnny assured him.

Will laughed, then looked up at Courtney, who was starring daggers. “Oh, come on, Babe, we’re just fuckin’ around.”

Courtney just stormed up the stairs. “Whatever.”

Steve sat back down and picked up his bowl. “Man, I just love it when you bring her around.”

“Lay off it.” Will said, trying to effectively end the on-going conversation of past months.

“Look man, it’s not that—“ Johnny started, only to be interrupted by Courtney plowing down the stairs, looking wild, brandishing a pink track jacket like a witch hunter would a torch.

“What the hell is this doing here, Steve?!”

Steve threw both hands out in defense, “I don’t even know what that is!”

“Staci’s jacket!” Courtney yelled, walking up in front of him, effectively blocking the TV for everyone. “What’s it doing here?”

Johnny objected, “Oh come on! You’re blocking the TV!”

She looked at him and moved to the side, apparently picking her battles this time, “Steve?”
Steve just picked up his bowl and tried to look around her.

“Steve I swear to god, if you don’t start talking, I’m going to kill you.”

He looked up at her innocently, “What would I know about some girl’s jacket being in our hallway. And it was in the hallway right? Obviously it wasn’t in my room, cause you wouldn’t going in there if your life depended on it. Why is it automatically me? It could have just as easily been Johnny.”

Johnny just made a face, openly showing everyone that Krista was far from his type.

Courtney shook the jacket, “What did you do last night?”

“We went to O’Malley’s!” Steve said, far too defensively to alleviate guilt.

Will shook his head, “What the hell? I guess I missed that call?”

“Kind of a spur of the moment late night thing, man.” Johnny assured him.

Courtney eyeballed Steve. “Was Staci there?”

“I donno, there were a lot of girls there!”

She reached down and grabbed his arm, sinking manicured nails into his flesh, “What did you do to her, Steve?”

“Hey! Ow, that hurts!” Steve snatched his wounded arm away, “What did I do to her? I’m not a fucking serial killer, Christ!”

Will nudged Johnny, “What happened?” Obviously interested.

“Not much, really, it was pretty dead.” Johnny explained, eager, as always to tell a story, “It was like, nine?” He looked at Steve for confirmation, who nodded after a few moments of thought. Getting a story right down to the details was important. “Yeah, we were here, ran out of beer and were driving to the gas station to get some more, and when we saw that new chick bartender’s car outside O’Malleys, we decided to head in there instead.” He looked around the room, “For the free drinks, ya know?”

Will laughed, “How’s that working out for ya?”

“She’s diggin’ it.” Johnny assured him.

“She has a boyfriend.” Steve deadpanned.

“Ouch.”

Johnny shook his head, defying them, “No, she’s just saying she has one to make me try harder.”

“Anyways,” Will said, looking up at Courtney, who was about to explode, “Go on.”

Johnny sighed, “Alright, so we walk in there, and apparently the track team just won something, or were just coming back from something, so they were in there. And you know, Alex, right? Alex was there buying us shots and shit, so we joined in.” He looked at Steve with an apology, the story had to go on, “And Staci started hitting it off with Steve.”

Courtney looked like she could skin Steve alive, “Oh, was this before or after you started feeding her shots?”

“Hey, I’ll have you know, she was feeding me the shots.” He looked at Will, with a devious smile on his face, “Pretty literally too, I’ve never really hit on track chicks ya know? Cause they’re usually kind flat, and you know me…” He looked up at Courtney, and decided to end his description, “But yeah, just so you know, she was hitting on me the whole time. I didn’t even have to try.”

“God, you’re an asshole!”

Steve reacted as if slapped, “What is the deal with everyone calling me an asshole? Johnny’s the asshole! I’m a nice guy just trying to have a good time!”

“Is that why she left so quickly she forgot her jacket?” Courtney pressed.

“Ugh.” Johnny cringed, “She’s got you there man.”

Steve stood up defiantly, “Listen, I don’t owe any explanation to anybody. I’m a man, and I do what I want!”

Courtney laughed in his face, and admittedly, Johnny had to bite down his own. “You? Steve, you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings. You’re barely passing all of your classes, and the only reason you’re in any shape for baseball whatsoever is because Will and Johnny make you work out with them. You’re like a thirteen year old.”

“Hey!” Steve yelled half heartedly. He sat down, trying unsuccessfully not to pout. “Your boyfriend watches cartoons too, ya know.”

“I swear to god, Steve. If you hook up with another one of my friends, and I have to listen to them cry about how you snuck out their window once they fell asleep, lied to them about your phone number, didn’t call, avoided them, or forgot their name…”

Johnny couldn’t help it, he laughed.

She looked at Johnny, then back at Steve. “You forgot her name?!”

“What the fuck?” Steve demanded, “Are you psychic or something? Why are you constantly trying to undermine my life? You’ve been doing it since you were five and caught me setting my GI Joes on fire!”

She pointed at him menacingly, “Steve, never again. Do it again, and I’ll call your mom and tell her all the terrible things you do to girls, and all the pot, and all the drinking stories I’ve heard. I’ll tell it all. Let’s see them pay for school after that.”

Steve glared at her. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would.”

“Then I’ll tell uncle Brian that his daughter is sluttin’ it up with my roommate. These walls are thin, Courtney. I know what you do.” He said it with as much of a threatening tone as he could.
“Uh, Steve. I hate to burst your bubble, but my dad knows I’m not a virgin. And more, he likes Will.”

Johnny nodded, “And he should. Will’s badass.” He and Will shared a high five.

“I’m serious, Steve.” Courtney went on, “You’re an asshole. I’m sick of it.”

Will stood up, “Alright, Babe, chill out.”

She looked up at him, “What?”

“You heard me, chill out. Who cares if he hooked up with Staci? So has half the track team.”
Courtney looked shocked, “You’re taking his side?”

Steve nodded to Will, “Thanks man.”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side!” Will looked back and forth between the two of them, “Honestly, I don’t even know why this is a fight! You guys are at eachother’s throats at all times, it’s fucking crazy!”

Johnny looked away from the scene, picked up his bowl, and did his best to fall into the movie for good. This was not good.

“What did you just call me?” Courtney asked, nearly a whisper.

“Huh?” Will asked.

“You think I’m crazy?”

Steve blew out a long breath, “Shit.”

“No!” Will started towards her, but she backed up, “I said this is crazy! The fighting. Not you, babe.”

She looked at him, then Steve, who was stupidly, grinning at her, and then at Johnny, who lifted his bowl up to cover his face. “Fine.” She huffed, “You stay here and be just like them, be an asshole, be a loser, be whatever.”

“Hey!” Steve said.

Even Johnny bit at that one, “We’re not fucking losers, Court.”

“Well you’re sure as hell not doing too well for yourselves!”

“What are you talking about?” Will asked, trying desperately to calm the situation, trying to get a hold of Courtney, who continued to fight her way out of his grasp and toward the door.

“We’re great when we wanna be.” Steve declared.

“Yeah.” Johnny asserted, “With chicks and shit. And sports.”

Courtney might as well cursed them out with her eyes, “Yeah, I hope that works out for you.” She looked up and made eye contact with Will. “Will you leave me alone? I’m serious. I’m leaving.”

“Oh come on, Courtney, don’t be stupid.”

Johnny flinched again. God, Will was building a funeral pyre, and lighting the thing just for kicks.

“I’m stupid too, huh?” Courtney said coolly.

That was not good, Johnny knew. Courtney came from a long line of Williamses who he had spent enough summer barbeques and the occasional holiday with to know, the second they stopped acting crazy, shit was really about to hit the fan.

Will looked at her, aghast, “Yeah, ya know what? I guess you are. Jesus Christ, will you let me say one thing without turning on me?”

That was the nail in the coffin.

“Goodbye, Baby.” When she said it, it sounded mysteriously like fucker, “I’m gonna go now, you sit and play with your loser friends. Don’t call me for a few days, okay?

Will watched her open the door and calmly make her way to her lime green neon. Johnny once again looked at that car and wondered how Will could deal with sitting in it, much less drive the thing when she was too hammered to make it home. He watched Will turn and slowly move his gaze over to Steve, who was back to chomping on cereal as if nothing had ever happened.

Slowing in his chewing, Steve felt the eyes on him. First he turned to Johnny, who motioned as discreetly as possible to Will. When he looked up at will, his mouth full, milk dripping down his chin, he seemed as innocent as ever, “What?”

“Nice going, man.” Will said.

Johnny had to agree.

“Well, good riddance, I say!” Steve cheered, trying to lighten the mood.

Johnny just shook his head. It was really going to fuck up the weekend if Will was sulking the whole time, or worse, seconds away from beating Steve to death.

“You know what, Steve?” Will asked.

“No, what?”

Will just gritted his teeth and ground his hands together, shoulders and arms bulging. “Forget it.” He walked somberly upstairs.

Steve turned back to Johnny, “What?”

“Dude, you should probably apologize or something.”

“For what?” Steve shrugged, “You were right there. That idiot brought this all on himself. He should have just backed off and let her cool down. You’d think he’d have learned by now. Courtney’s just like my mom and aunt, and grandma and every other batshit crazy woman in my family. Just let ‘em yell, and they’ll get over it.”

“Yeah, well, it gets a little tiring after a while.” Johnny ventured.

“Tell me about it!” Steve shook his head, not getting the message.

Not wanting to get too into it, as always, Johnny just let it go. He had other things on his mind: What to do tonight? Definitely need to work out. It’s warm out today, campus should be lookin’ pretty hot. We need to go to O’Malley’s, that bartender doesn’t have a boyfriend…does she?

Johnny stood up, and smacked Steve on the shoulder. “Alright, come on. We’ve got class in like an hour and we’re running there today.”

“Dude, fuck you, I’m not running anywhere.”

“Yeah. We are. And then we’re going to work out after class.”

“Nope.”

“What if I told you that I’ve been working out every Friday for the past three weeks after this class, and there’s someone there who looks really good in tight pants every time I go?”

“I’m intrigued.”

“Well, go get dressed then.”

Steve gave Johnny a look. He knew who he was talking about, but didn’t want to press it. Probably worried about losing his nerve. “Okay, but I’m not gonna run fast.”

“Deal.” Johnny headed to his room to get ready.